Seagulls - Mans Biggest Fear
Not everyone is brave enough to admit their fears. They feel vulnerable when they do so. If they do it tends to be something that everyone is scared of, a common fear. Heights, Spiders, Flying or Darkness are some examples that come to mind but these aren't even half as scary as something which is out there. This isn't one of those mental fears either, those where people are cowering away from balloons for example. I mean look at this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqtdVAalQY0. Mental. I assure you this is something that you should be fearing. Something that will be in your nightmares. That's right, look up to the skies if you're ever at the beach, make sure to avoid the seagulls. Don't believe me? Not quaking in your boots? Let me tell you why you should be.
Just start by looking at this image if you dare. It looks like a feathered dragon patrolling the skies searching for it's next victim. They're fast, vicious and stupidly brave to boot. Doesn't matter if you're a child or elderly lady, you're a target. This animal has no bias. I've mentioned before I'm an animal fan but this is the exception. I'm not even against birds, my favourite animals are ducks and penguins, but this is one bird you don't want to cross.
How are you a victim? Let's start by painting a picture. Just imagine walking along the beach, ready for your day on the pier and soaking in the sun. You're with your partner or your friends and you've put on a nice designer top. Everything's going fine until you notice a shadow circling above you. You think nothing of it. You keep walking and talking enjoying your ice cream. Then boom, disaster. There's a white splodge on your shoulder, that's right, the seagull has hit it's target. You've got to spend the rest of your day with this excrement sitting there until you can clean it off. You've got to spend the rest of your day feeling embarrassed that people witnessed you becoming a victim of bullying from a bird. You've got to hope this doesn't stain that's for sure.
Not convinced? Have you ever tried to eat food at the beach? We went to Llandudno once and got ourselves a typical beach side treat, fish and chips. Not 10 seconds after we had left the cafe that this was purchased from a flock of around 7 seagulls were flying overhead. You instantly start to feel panicked. No one wants to feel panicked now do they? We sat down and started to eat when one landed down besides us looking hopefully toward our food. Another one followed. And then another. This was getting out of hand now. They edged toward to us inch by inch, too brave for their own good. One then flew narrowly by snapping it's beak toward our chips. We'd had it. Not only did we have to abandon our sea view we had to go running down a side alley to avoid the greedy gaze of these beasts. They're smarter than they look however as one followed us to continue it's quest of greed and harassment. A constant repetition of eat, chase away, sit and chase away once more ensued until we finally finished our meal. I'm sure you can feel our agony and frustration, all caused by these foul beasts.
That's just an example of this torture I've experienced myself but I'm sure you have seen in person or videos where seagulls steal everything from food to hats. You're always going to fear that. There is the shadow of them flying above surveying the scene which sends shivers down your spine. The reason these wicked, winged horrors should be your biggest fear is not only down to them being legitimately scary but they are also a massive pest. You may be scared of the dark but you can cure that by turning on a light. You may be scared of snakes but how often do you actually come across a snake? You may be scared of heights but you can just stay on the ground. You can't avoid seagulls however if you want to step outside. They're not even limited to the beaches and sea anymore. You can find them inland. They're planning something and invading further. We should all be afraid.
I hope this has opened your eyes to the danger that surround us. I'm sorry if I have given you a further fear but you deserve to know. On the flip side you should definitely feel better about your previous fears knowing they don't even compare. Try your best to sleep tonight, I've had restless night's myself I admit. Stay indoors if you want to stay safe and most of all just remember to look after one another. No matter how manly you believe yourself to be you're not immune to these little devils.