The Gym Wilderness

The Gym - The People You Can Expect to See.

If you go to the gym you probably already have an idea of what you can expect to observe during your workout. I go myself on a semi regular basis and am by no means a gym expert or a buff dude. I do get a chance however to look around when having a run on the treadmill and feel like I've seen enough to be able to comment on the characters you can see. I'm sorry if you do end up being one of these individuals. Just think though, without you the gym wouldn't be the functioning hive of activity it is today. The world needs a variety of characters and the gym is no different.

Mr Married to His Muscles

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The geezer who makes you feel bad about yourself. He walks on by wearing a vest and flexing with every step he takes. Sometimes he'll pause to look around, making sure at least one lesser being is observing him. It's almost like a theatre production where he expects a gasp or round of applause when he lifts some heavy weights. This man loves an audience. As your average Joe you're looking at him with envy. If you were a colour you'd be green. You sit there on the rowing machine and think about him. You have a little ponder. This man looks the part but you try and get a conversation out of him and you soon realise that any topic other than the gym or healthy food is off limits. He can post a cracking topless selfie on Instagram however he has the personality of a leaf. His diet revolves around broccoli, chicken and protein shakes. I'll take a pizza over that for sure. Next time you see this man striding around your gym make sure you actually feel pity for him, not jealousy toward him.

The Herd

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This isn't one individual but a group of people which can range from 2-5 in numbers in extreme situations. Normally younger in age and a range of physiques however you are sure to see them sitting around one machine rather than getting on with their own individual workout. Rather than a nightclub these people love a day of social activity in their gym. You'll see they end up spending upwards of 1 and a half hours in the gym and posting about how much time they spent at the gym that week. Thing they miss out on is approximately a third of their time is actually spent doing some work whilst the rest is just spent leaning on the machine encouraging their friends. They're harmless enough, you just know that this is not a gym to them, this is a mothers meeting.

Sweating Buckets

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This is me. I sweat walking up stairs so the gym is a moist experience for sure. A waterfall of body fluid. I respect these people though. It shows they actually work when they go to the gym. They definitely try their hardest. It's not their fault, do remember that. You see them on the cross trainer working their absolute hardest with a pained look across their face. You see them on a machine pulling all the wrong handles as they have a confused aura around them. You see them making it up as they move along from station to station. They don't have a great physique or an encyclopedic knowledge of the gym equipment however what they do have is a great attitude and you can't beat that can you? So when you see them sweating and unable to use the chest press properly please make sure to give them a hand. Just don't be surprised by how sweaty they are. They'll always have a towel to hand, hopefully.

The Peacock

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Normally female but not necessarily this is the person who will come to the gym fully showered and with their hair all in place. As a girl they will be sure to have plenty of makeup on as well as their phone in hand ready for all their social media posts that are sure to follow. Wearing the newest gym gear that is the brightest of colours they stand out for all to see, similar to how a peacock would. Now do not get me wrong, half the girls in the gym work harder than me and put in a lot more effort. The peacock girls however enjoy sitting on a medicine ball leaning forward in front of a few men or lying on the floor thrusting their hips in the air. After every set they'll make sure to adjust their clothes and tidy up their hair so they are ready and raring to go into the next stage of their peacock plan. They're similar to 'Mr Married to his Muscles' in this respect as they do love a good audience. The issue with their master plan is no man ever has the courage to approach them and have a word, so all this effort is made in vain. Not that they're aware. Do you think they care? Not if they get a bunch of likes on their Instagram post that's for sure.

This is just a few of the personalities that exist in this testosterone filled environment. Please make sure to make me aware of any I may have missed. When you go to the gym next see if you can spot each of these individuals. It makes it more interesting that's for sure. Mainly go to the gym for you though, I know it's a good way to make you feel good about yourself. You definitely feel healthier that's for sure. 


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