A Bad Short Story

Rupert Bucket and The Rainbow Jumpers

Rupert was an interesting individual. He had 6 cats with ice-cream cones upon their heads which he enjoyed to call his little unicorns. This was also attempted with his singular goldfish but the cone flaked apart in the water. Useless. He later abandoned his fish in a mug of water at the corner of his street in rage. There was also a collection of laptops in one particular upstairs room however Rupert didn't have internet so he primarily used these to write thoughts down and play mine sweeper. His PlayStation 1 and Crash Bandicoot game were his favourite and provided hours of pleasure in evening times. He didn't even sleep in a bed, instead choosing to rest his little head upon a nest of bean bag chairs downstairs. What's more his favourite weather type was hail. Did I say interesting? I think I'd rephrase that as weird.

Ginger hair was swept to one side with a little tuft on top, a ginger crown if you will. Rupert had strikingly small hands and feet for a male 32 years of age that looked even smaller in comparison to his abnormally large chin. He also missed his front two teeth due to an accident as a child involving a rounders bat and an angry teacher. This wasn't even his defining feature however. No, it wasn't even a physical aspect of Rupert's appearance that was defining. The Rainbow Jumper was his masterpiece and how we was renowned throughout the town of Barrowvale. 

Image result for male rainbow jumper

Sitting down in the midst of his laptop collection one Wednesday afternoon he realised he had no purpose in life. What was he going to do? Why was he placed upon this planet? Then it struck him, he had an epiphany. He decided it was time to make a cult so he could have some friends. How do you start a cult? That's right, through blogging. He created a heart warming blog which was enjoyed by thousands and he used this to scout suitable members for his future cult. Now I know what you're going to say, how can he blog without internet? Rupert just took one of his many laptops to his local McDonald's and used their internet. Blogging with milkshakes. Sorted. He was looking for fellow interesting characters like himself in order to fulfill his cult however this would be no ordinary or stereotypical evil cult, this would be a cult for good. He also spent a day debating uniforms however he finally decided upon the rainbow jumper for everyone. 

After months of careful consideration and deliberation Rupert had assembled a cult of 4 individuals who tickled his pickle. A Jamaican hockey player named Steve, a book worm named Isabella, an avid nudist named Leroy and finally a professional blacksmith named Ruth. He liked to see this as a rainbow of characters and talents. All were based in Barrowvale and all were free that Sunday evening. Rupert wanted somewhere inconspicuous to host his first cult meeting so decided on the local bowling green to commence this. They met, shared pleasantries and discussed the most important and pressing matter, the name of their cult. After much debate they decided upon, "The Rainbow Jumpers." I know, how creative right? Excitement bubbled within the group as they envisaged themselves challenging even the Avengers in popularity and the police in regards to assisting their neighborhood. Rupert passed out the rainbow jumpers for everyone to wear. He'd had his members send measurements before meeting so he was assured they would be sized correctly. There's nothing worse than an ill fitting rainbow jumper. Everyone knows that.

"Why hold on? Let's go spread our positive energy," stated Rupert who was embracing not only his role as the leader but his collection of new friends fully. Finally he had a purpose. "The Rainbow Jumpers," jumped at this opportunity to show off their new found friendship, pardon the pun. They rolled into town on their tricycles waving at bemused citizens who they passed when suddenly they heard a scream for help. Like meerkats who had sensed danger they sprung into action and pedaled toward the source of distress. In the back of Rupert's head was a nagging sense of doubt and fear but he couldn't back down now, he had to lead by example for his new group. What could be the worst thing that could happen anyway? They were only in Barrowvale, a town renowned for it's lack of excitement and population under the age of 50. They skidded to the end of the alleyway the scream originated from and not even a second after doing so Leroy was shot in the knee cap. Leroy was the cults sweetheart due to his outgoing nudist nature, his generous tendencies and ability to balance almost anything on his head. What a party trick. Despite his nudist passion he did agree to wear his rainbow jumper uniform however. The bullet struck him and he crumpled to the floor in a heap moaning in agony. Rupert stared down the alleyway aghast and couldn't believe what he saw. Surely it couldn't be? Could it?

- - - - -

Something completely different and not really your average style blog I thought I'd try out a new idea, that idea being a short and purposely rubbish novel. Any feedback on this story would be greatly appreciated and I'm sure you're now a fan of, "The Rainbow Jumpers." Who know's, there might be a part two or even further as we continue the tale of tragedy Rupert and friends face in the town of Barrowvale. Obviously if you're not a fan chances are I won't be making a part two or further. Not going to lie, I definitely enjoyed writing this and allowing my creativity to flow completely. Anyways, peace!


Unknown said…
Hahahah love the rainbow jumper, I’m a massive fan now 🤣
Disa Rastogi said…
I m waiting for what happens next.Your imagination was wonderful.

-A Rainbow Jumper Fan

Thestoryofash said…
Hahaha! I love our writing style! Once again, thank you for a good read! :D


Thanks for the feedback and the second part is coming. You'll enjoy the twist coming up aha.
Diana said…
Loved this! Great read x Can't wait for the second part!